If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.