god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish you could order shots online.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility