I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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