I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
