Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
