I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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