Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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