I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
