I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize