just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
