that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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