i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
