a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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