I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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