the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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