What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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