OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
