So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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