its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.