I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
