can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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