It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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