38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
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Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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