I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
