Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
