i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize
