Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
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i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
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So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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