escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize