Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize