he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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