you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize