u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
