that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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