Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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