definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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