The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
