Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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