so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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