He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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