I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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