i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm bleeding and have questions
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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