We won't sleep together?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
