I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
