Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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