Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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