I love black thongs
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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