My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
