I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
