we're chasing vodka with high fives
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille