so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.