another moral hangover. fuck.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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