We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
you will always have a special place in my vag
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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